Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Boring Day at Work

So far, three people who had appointments with me today haven't shown up. I wouldn't mind this so much if I had something to really do, but right now, I don't. I could possibly write a poem, but I don't know what on. Not feeling very poemy. Feeling quite hungry though.

And I would have gotten a pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese at the bagel place in the student center, but they were "out." How they could be out at 7:50, when they only open at 7:30 is beyond me. They were "out" yesterday too. Bastards.

Well, maybe I'll go over to the student center and try the bagel place again... I realllly want a bagel.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I Hate Breakups... Even When They're Not Happening to Me

My friends K & C finally called it quits today. I just hurt for both of them... I think they've been together 12 years, and it sucks, and I'm really sad. Because I was K's friend first, but I'm C's friend too... and I don't know what to say to either of them, except I'm sorry.

And I know this is weird... but it makes me feel scared too. Like, if people like them could break up, people I thought were together for the long haul, what chance do the rest of us have?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Where Have I Been?

It seems the rest of the summer got away from me. Mostly I've just been working every day, and while it seemed ok when I was doing it part-time, full-time has its disadvantages... mostly long blocks of time where not much happens. Part of this is because it's after registration, and students won't be coming in again till the end of October when registration starts up.

Part of it has to do, probably, with the fact I've never had a 40 hour a week job, and I'm not used to being at work and not having anything to do. When I was teaching, I came in to teach, did my office hours (including my part-time advising hours), and went home... to do other things, like laundry (which I'm sorely behind on) or cleaning the house or grocery shopping. Now when I get home, the last thing I want to do is those chores. (Granted, I never want to do laundry since I have to go out to do it... but hopefully I'll find a new place to live soon, and it WILL have a washer and dryer, or I'm not moving in.)

Fiance and I are fine. He's actually coming up today to stay until Friday morning. There's a lecture he wants to go to tomorrow night, and he doesn't have to work, so he figured he'd come in for a quick visit. As it happens, I'm going down his way for a conference on Friday/ Saturday, and the plan was that we'd spend Saturday night and Sunday together... but he forgot to request those days off. So I'll be coming back home.

Which is just as well, so I can take care of His Magesty, whom I don't really like to leave alone, anyway. I know how he hates not being able to go outside. And I don't feel comfortable leaving the back window open--not because I worry that anyone would break in (though, in a large city, that's ALWAYS a possibility), but mainly because I don't want to come home to find that there are dead--or living!--chipmunks running around. I'm about done with the chipmunk crap, frankly.

I will say, the one good thing about this job is that when I have large blocks of unoccupied time, I fill it with writing poems, and that makes me ever so much happier a person.

Hoping everyone is well.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Job Things

After a lot of chaos, I finally got the permanent advisor job. Today was my third day at work. While I have been doing advising for a year now, I wasn't prepared for the 40-hour-a-week grind, and my butt gets sore from sitting all day, and pretty much from 2-4:30 I'm sooooo bored. But I'll get used to it, and like it too, I hope.

I figure, I'm committed to staying at this school at least as long as it takes my fiance to go through graduate school. There is a dual Master's in Public Policy/ Urban Planning program that would be fantastic if he could get into. His undergraduate grades are uneven at best. They have been better since he's been back to school, and perhaps the Admissions Committee will take that into consideration. But this is a tough school to get into, and they expect brilliance. I love my honey, but I think he's burned too many brain cells over the years to be considered brilliant. But perhaps he tests well. Maybe he'll do really well on the GRE. I hope he considers taking a Kaplan course on the GRE so that he'll do really well on it.

Oh, yikes I'm suddenly exhausted. I'll write more later.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Weird But True

The advising job I applied for--you needed 4 years work experience in a university setting. Human Resources kicked my application out as unsuitable because they somehow missed I've had 12 years experience.

I rewrote my letter and am going to resubmit it on Monday (the last day of the job being open) so that they are aware I have 12 years experience. Idiots.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Calmed Down

I'm not a deranged bitch like I was the other day. C and I talked, and things are better. I still don't know what to do about the wedding, but I have other things to think about... like the fact that I don't know if I have a job beyond June. And also there is always my health to worry me, but that's too boring to contemplate right now.

All in all, I'm just trying to survive another day.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Angry

I seem to be angry all the time lately. Or if not angry, then bored. And I know what this means: a depression coming on, and the thought of that just makes me tremble, because I know how debilitating my depressions can be. And I have neither meds nor a psychologist to get me through.

It's not like I haven't tried to find a psychologist, but Blue Cross is being really shitty lately. And I don't have the money because I got the latest bill from the oncologist, and it's $1700 and I still haven't gotten the latest bill from the hospital.

And on top of it all, C's parents said they'll maybe only give $1500 toward the wedding, and even with Mom's matching agreement, that is only $3000 for a wedding. Who the fuck can have a wedding on $3000? I have saved in my secret stash $1200, but I was going to use that towards financing the honeymoon. I'm so mad at his cheapskate parents I couldn't even talk to him last night. They're so fucking selfish. And they make hella lot more money than my Mother does, and she was prepared to give $5000!

I don't even want the fanciest, ritziest wedding, but with $3000 I'd be lucky to serve cake and ice cream afterwards. And the part that really makes me mad is that in my heart of hearts, I really think C did a shitty job of asking his father for money. I suspect he was mealy-mouthed and said we'd take whatever they could give, instead of being honest and direct and saying we need $5000. If I didn't have all these damn medical bills, I could afford to pay for most of the wedding on my own, but it just makes me so angry that they couldn't even pony up a legitimate donation to the wedding.

And C hasn't even tried to save any money. I just don't think that in this day and age the bride's family should have to pay for the whole thing, with the exception of $1500. It would be one thing if C had a real job and was bringing in $30,000 a year. It's not like in the old days when the groom supported the bride. I mean, I'm the one who's going to support him in grad school. I'm the one who's paid for all these goddamn medical bills when his fucking sperm contributed to my disease. I pretty much pay every time we go out to dinner, and I'm the one who drives down there way more than he comes here. And I'm sick of it.

Everything's money money money, and I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of how cheap C and his parents are, and I'm sick of this wedding already. I'm sick to death.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Somebody Shoot Me

So, I've been going to work every since the semester ended, doing my advisory work--answering student e-mails about registration and what-not, holding office hours, meeting with students, because I am under the assumption that I am getting paid.

When I took over as assistant advisor, I was told I would get paid for fall, spring, and summer. But, I sent an e-mail to the head of the department several weeks ago to confirm this, when the person I directly report to made a funny noise when I brought up summer employment to her. (Even though she was the one who told me I would get adjunct pay for summer.) I didn't sign up for summer teaching because I was told I was getting paid for summer. Hence, la la la, I'm thinking I'm getting paid.

Well, I went to the office manager of our department and checked to make sure that I would be getting paid. She looked at her papers and said, "You're not on the summer budget."

Son of a bitch.

I go into the Vice-Chair's office and say what the hell is this? If I'm not getting paid for the summer what am I supposed to do about health care? Why have I been coming to work? I sure as hell wasn't planning on volunteering for the summer. And I sure as hell would have signed up for summer teaching.

I'm so pissed I can't even tell you. And I'm really pissed at the person I have been directly reporting to, because she's the one who promised me summer money and she was the one who should have made sure to put me in the budget. I'm livid really. Because now I have no money for the summer, and nobody at that fucking school gives a goddamn about it.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Update

This week I am going to a big cancer hospital back home for testing and a second opinion. Anyway, I like to spend my birthday with my Mom, and Friday is my birthday.

Actually, I don't really even care about the second opinion. In fact, I'd rather not do it, because I just want to quit. Period. No more. And I can't afford it. But Mom and C both want me to do it, so ok, I'm going for it.

But before I leave on Tuesday (I think), I have another meeting with the head of the department tomorrow, and hopefully this one will be more clear as to whether a job is really going to manifest for me, or whether I should just go home for good. I don't know why they wouldn't want to give me a job--I'm good at advising; I like it, and the students like me. So hopefully I will have some good news tomorrow. Because I'm not loving this flux I'm in. I'm just not a fluxy person.

Other than that, things are quiet. Hope you all are doing well.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Out of Touch

I've been busy doing absolutely nothing for the last several weeks. I am tired, in debt, sick of mounting medical bills, and worried about the lack-of-job sitch. The cancer isn't responding to the treatment, my doctor thinks maybe I have something else, and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Really, everything kind of bites. And I have about 4000 papers to grade before grades are due. Plus, I have to clean out my office. There's a depressing thought.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

PET Scan

Oh, sorry, got the bill today. The PET scan was $3881, not $3000. Nice.

Wedding Things

Did I mention C & I are officially engaged?

I've been avoiding grading by looking at wedding websites. I was looking at invitations and save-the-date cards on Crane paper, which I will not be able to afford, even though Crane paper is so very elegant. I found another website called The Knot which has all manner of things, from budgeting info, to a guest list keeper, to 12-month planners. My Mom said her boss at work (who got married in December) suggested it, so I checked it out and it's pretty cool.

And I ordered 3 books from Amazon: Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 5th ed., Your Stress-Free Wedding Planner, and for a sociological perspective, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. Hopefully that last book will keep me from becoming a maniac.

And C and I have been kicking around ideas for where to have the wedding/ reception. I'd like to do something unique and unusual, and C pretty much says whatever I want. He's amenable like that. Of course, I won't let him get out of doing plenty of the work--he's not going to use the excuse of whatever I want to get out of making decisions.

Of course, I don't know where I'll get the money for this wedding. (I'm certainly not asking my asshole father for penny one.) I keep hemorrhaging money with this stupid cancer treatment that's not working. It's a good thing I'm seeing the oncologist on Monday because I'm going to ask her if I can just quit chemo since it doesn't seem to be doing anything and the pet scan showed nothing. C and my other friends keep saying "Well, you should stick with the chemo in case the cancer spreads." All I can say is THE PET SCAN SHOWED NOTHING. A $3000 test showed nothing. So clearly I must not have cancer. I almost wonder if the oncologist was wrong, and I've been suffering for four months with chemo for nothing at all. (Gahh, if I think about that too much, I become irate.)

Anyway... the dog next door is barking its insane head off, and I need to grade. Love to all.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Decision

I've decided if that PET scan I did on Friday reveals nothing of any significance, I'm going to quit cancer treatments. 3 months of treatments hasn't managed to accomplish anything, so why should I continue down a path that just makes me tired, sick, and lethargic? Moreover, my medical bills are killing me and I just can't afford to keep getting $900 treatments that don't seem to work. I'm tired and bored, and I've had enough.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

On Very Personal Health

I really needed to do laundry today. So instead I took a long nap. Then I graded for a while, and now I'm goofing off online. I suck.

Actually I took the nap to head off a headache that was starting. Because of the chemo, I'm not supposed to use Advil, but after 6 days of headaches last week, I begged and pleaded to the nurse practitioner and the oncology nurse to let me have Advil. They must know me because they said they'll allow me to take one or two once in a very great while, but I can't "eat it like candy." Which is scary. Because before chemo, I did eat Advil like candy. I mean, why take one or two when five or six will knock out cramps or migraines? I probably have no liver. But they said I need to use Advil sparingly because of the risk of uncontrolled bleeding. I don't plan on injuring myself, so I'd like to ignore the no candy-eating rule, but I'll be a good girl.

It helps that I haven't had a period since forever. (I'm not counting all the bleeding I had after the surgery where I was going through pads like every hour [since I wasn't allowed to use tampons].) Of course, I don't have periods because I'm skipping the white pills and going onto the next month's birth control pack. And I realize this is kind of a bad thing to do because of the risk to my heart and the rest of my body from all the extra hormones, but without PMS and MS, my mood is better, I can cope with my disease better, and I'm just a nicer person to be around. I figure, as long as I'm forced to be on birth control for at least a year, and possibly longer due to cancer, I may as well make it worthwhile by being period-free.

I think the nurse practitioner isn't too happy with this decision. But then she didn't have a miscarriage, a D&C, and copious amounts of bleeding for 6 weeks straight. (I have 3 pairs of stained jeans I can't get clean because the bleeding was so bad.)

Anyway. These are just the random thoughts of my mind today.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Inconsequential Things... Like My Health

I'm feeling kind of sick to my stomach today, and I've spent a good part of the day in bed. I did get myself on the couch to watch the 2005 Pride & Prejudice, which I'd give a B/B- to. Let's face it, the BBC one that ran on A&E will always be the standard to which all other adaptations are measured. It's all about Mr. Darcy isn't it? The guy who played Mr. Darcy in this movie was ok, but he was no Colin Firth. Well, and while we're at it, Keira Knightley is no Jennifer Ehle.

Afterwards, I went back down for a nappie, like a baby. I however also managed to bathe at one point. This is important because the last few days I haven't felt even up to that. I didn't feel up to it today either, but noxious smells were emanating from my body and I needed to get clean. Now I smell lovely, which I'm sure Snorky is glad for. He's been keeping me company in the bed. I know my offensiveness was bothering him. He can be very fastidious, even for a cat.

Nothing much is going on. C's brother's wedding is in 2 weekends, and I'm half-way looking forward to getting out of Atlanta, at least for a couple of days. Of course, it will be a chemo weekend, and that means I'll be really tired and puny. And C still hasn't told his parents that I have cancer. I don't know what he's waiting for--a written invitation? I'm just afraid that I'll be tired and subdued at the wedding and his family will think I have no personality or energy or otherwise make assumptions about me that aren't true, which will then influence them not to like me. I've tried explaining this to C but he keeps giving me the runaround. I told him if he doesn't tell them in the next few days, I'm writing them a letter. Maybe that will galvanize him.

I really don't understand his hesitancy. He ran to them to tell them all the gruesome details of the botched pregnancy and my D&C and my ubiquitous bleeding--the stuff I didn't want them to know about. But I think they should know about the cancer, and he won't tell them. Maybe he thinks they'll freak out. But both his mother and sister are nurses, so it's not like they won't have any understanding. Whatever.

The next door yapping dog won't shut up. I wish I could slip it a mickey.

Hope everyone's ok.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Quick Check-In

I am sitting here with a cat on my right side and a stack of papers on my left. Plus I have to read 6 chapters in my crappola Tech Comm book for tomorrow's Tech Comm seminar, which I have absolutely no interest in doing AND I have to make a presentation on one of the chapters, which I tried reading, and which made me have to take a nap earlier, it was so boring.

Granted, I didn't take a long nap, mostly because I couldn't get comfortable. I've had a migraine-esque headache for the last several days, and of course you know I am not SUPPOSED to take Advil while I'm on chemo. But yesterday I broke down and took 5, chemo be damned. I was going to die from a headache. When I go get chemo on Wednesday, I'm going to talk to them about what I can do for when I have headaches, because I've said it before and I'll say it again, Tylenol is stupid and doesn't work. Today it was mostly just a dull throbbing, nothing that I bothered taking a pill for.

Other than that, not much is news. Same ol' same ol. And I'm kind of grumpy and hungry, but I already ate dinner, so I have no idea why I'm ravenous.

Hope everyone's ok.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

A Kiss for My Friends

Chocolates and tulips,
a pillow spilled with stardust:
Valentine for you.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

New Treatment

The doctor didn't like my last bloodtest and said the cancer wasn't responding. So I've been switched to a new treatment, a more aggressive one that knocks my ass out and makes me so sick. I thought the other treatment wasn't great, but this is worse.

I was exhausted all day yesterday, and I had to go onto campus for a meeting. Two hours total, and I thought I would die. Today, I didn't even get out of bed till almost 5, and it's not even 8:30, and I'm thinking of going back to bed.

I've been managing alright. But now I'm afraid that this new treatment (which takes about a couple of hours to administer) is going to make things very, very hard for me.

I wish I could give up cancer for Lent.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Day After



They've decided to put me on anti-nausea pills round the clock, so I have to take one of the pills ever 6 hours. Actually, I wish they had told me to do this weeks ago, because today really wasn't too bad. I actually had an appetite today, and the pills kept me from feeling gross. Right now I feel a little sick and light-headed, but that's because I need to take another dose.

B/f came up last night and I can't say I was very good company... I went to sleep around 7; my Mom woke me up at 10 till 10 to ask how I was feeling and to remind me that there was a new Law & Order on, and so I got up to watch that, then I went back to sleep, and slept the sleep of the dead.

Well, except for the 4 times Kitteh wanted in and out. And of course C didn't manage to hear any of the times the cat wanted in or out. Of course. *Sigh*

I was sleepy for a lot of today, but while I was up, I watched Evan Almighty. It wasn't very funny, but it was kind of cute, so it was a nice diversion.

Anyway, here are a few more new pictures of His Highness. I thought you might enjoy seeing how handsome he is lately.







Friday, January 25, 2008

Chemo Crash 2

Another really bad day. B/f wants me to come visit him tomorrow, but I swear, I just want to stay in bed and die. I feel awful. Now, I guess, there's enough chemo in my blood that I don't bounce back like I did in the early rounds... I wind up just feeling bad for the rest of the week. It's pitiful.

And I'm almost out of ginger ale.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Chemo Crash

Oy, I can tell this is the day after chemo... I'm so exhausted. I woke up at 7:30, putzed around till 10:30, and then crashed. I would have slept probably the rest of the day except His Magesty jumped up on the bed and began to lick my neck, the silly beastie.

I've managed to eat some bread and soup, but I really want to go back to bed. And it's not even 5. Is that bad?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

So, He Apologizes

B/f was very apologetic. And it was nice to see him. It would have been better if he showed up on Sunday, but whatever. Honestly, I don't know what this weekend thing was about, but I talked to him about the importance of compromise, and maybe, just maybe he gets it.

More Snow Pictures

Here are some more pictures of snow. This is from the snow on the 19th. I sure wish we'd have a crazy 13-incher... but that only happens in the Plains. Ah well. It was pretty to see.




Sunday, January 20, 2008

Stupidities

B/f just called me, told me he was spending the night tomorrow. And I told him that I was disappointed that he couldn't be bothered to come and see me before tomorrow. I said that he could have left the conference at noon today; he could have been here by dinner time, and that I needed him, but apparently that didn't seem to matter to him.

I reminded him that every week, I go get chemo by myself, I'm exhausted by myself, and I'm sick by myself, and that he has not once spent any time with me after I've gone in for chemo. And he cried and got all emotional and started calling himself names, and I told him that I wasn't trying to blame him, but I feel pretty insignificant, totally second fiddle, to that conference he went to. I also reminded him that if he comes tomorrow and stays the night, I still have to leave the house at 8 a.m. in order to get to work on Tuesday, and we're hardly going to have any time together.

I told him I was pissed. What I should have said is that I don't want to see him tomorrow. Because I feel like his coming tomorrow for that brief visit is to assuage his guilt, and frankly, that's not going to fix things for me. But more than that, I'm pissed at myself because I should have told him yesterday when he mentioned what all the day's plans for today were that I needed him here. So once again, this is really my fault too, and that REALLY pisses me off.

Because I know he has no common sense. I know he can't read minds. So I should have expressed to him what my needs were, because maybe then I would have had a shot of getting them met. But I think I was just so stunned that he really didn't seem to understand how much I needed him that I let him do what he wanted to do (hang with those people from the conference), and in the process got infuriated.

As always, I am equally culpable. But honestly... how bright do you have to be to figure out your girlfriend needs help those first several days after a round of chemo? He could have gone to half the conference and spent the other half of the weekend with me. You know, if he had cancer, and I wanted to go to a conference that was not necessarily germane to my being, I think I would have blown the conference off and spent the weekend with him. But maybe that's just me.

I'm so disappointed. I expected better. But this is my fault too. And that's just as upsetting.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

He Called

He called me at 11. He's fine. I wanted to yell at him, but instead I cried.

Call Me Paranoid

This morning at 3:06 a.m., Boyfriend sent me a text message that said, "Oh god, I love and miss you." It woke me up out of a dead sleep. I went to the bathroom, and called him back. No answer. I called 4 more times, and texted him back. No answer.

I was awake from 3 till 6, when I finally fell back asleep. I have called him 3 times this morning. Why isn't he answering?

He has never texted me before in the middle of the night. In fact, he doesn't text me at all because he knows each text message costs me 15 cents. So why, last night, does he do this? I've watched a hella lot of Forensic Files, and all I can think is that was his last message to me before someone killed him. Maybe that's a little on the crazy side, but why hasn't he called me back?

Ok, ok, you might say, maybe he got drunk last night and texted me, and he's sleeping in. But the fact of the matter is he's gone to that Students for a Democratic Society conference in Tuscaloosa, AL, and all the sessions started this morning at 8 or 9.... so he'd have to be up for that, right?

I am really, really panicky right now. This just isn't like him. I don't know what to do. Call, dammit. Call me.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

My Snow Video

Thanks to Butterfly Cauldron, I feel all media savvy....

Here is the little video I shot last night. (It's the same one I posted on MySpace, so if you saw it there, don't think you'll be looking at something different.) Unfortunately, it's kind of dark, and hard to see. But I hope you like it.

Of course, by this morning, the rain had washed the snow all away. (I wish I could be up in the mountains where they got several inches... I would have loved to have seen it.)

Snow Pictures

Here are the photos I took of the snow. (Warning, they are not overly exciting.)



Here's another of the little chairs on my porch.



I thought I had a couple more, but I can't see them listed in the browse window. Hrm.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Winter Wonderland...Sort Of

It started snowing fat, wet, blobby flakes around 6-ish, and snowed a good two hours. Now it's raining, and the beauty is slowly disappearing. Many of the northern counties are getting several inches of snow.

There is something wonderful and nostalgic about snow... Nothing like the snows I used to detest back in grad school, the kind that would last for months, the salt wearing holes in the bottom of your shoes. Today's snow was just pretty enough to be evocative, but not provocative. ;-) It will all be gone by tomorrow, but that's ok.

I took a few pictures from my porch. If I knew how to paste them into the body of a post, I would. Imogen knows... I should ask her.

Stay warm.

A Little of This, A Little of That

Calling the bank has only assured me that they will "examine" the situation. Calling Bellsouth was a waste of time. They handed me around to 4 different people, all of whom said since I don't have an account with them, there's no way they could have charged me $162.47. Thanks, that was so helpful. Hopefully, the bank will figure out what happened. Meanwhile, I need to alert the credit bureaus... I wish I knew how to do that.

The new semester is alright so far--only two weeks into it, it's hard to say. I do have two former students whom I liked before, so it's nice to see them again. I'm hoping good things will happen this semester. I can't stand any more badness...

...like the student who missed an A by 6 points because of her attendance (it was poor), who then went to my supervisor and demanded that I change the grade. And I had to change it, even though I objected being coerced. See, that's what I hate about teaching. If a student bitches enough to the right people, it doesn't matter that she earned a B--she can go above the professor's head and the professor has to change the grade. How fair is that? Not fair.

Oy.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I Just Found Out...

...that my identity has been stolen. Someone charged $162 in an EFT charge on my bank account for phone services to Bellsouth--which I do not even subscribe to. More than that, the charge overdrew me by $131 in my account, so the bank slapped me with a $25 fee. You can damn well bet I'm calling both my bank and Bellsouth tomorrow.

FUCK.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Deep Dark Blues Must Be Catching

I just read Maude Lebowski's blog, and she's having a really tough day, as am I. I tried to get out of the house and get some fresh air--walked the malls (though, I'm not a mall person, but I wanted to use a giftcard that Boyfriend's sister gave me for Christmas), saw The Waterhorse, but the movie, which started out cute, became depressing and horrible as the Royal Navy began shooting giant cannons at "Crusoe" (aka, the Loch Ness Monster). In fact, it was scary and awful, and I started to cry. I probably should have left the theater, but I didn't.

I don't want to start another semester; I have a bad feeling that they won't be hiring me as a full time advisor, because my boss has been very cold to me ever since I started chemo, and now I'm terrified that come May, I will be jobless. I'm not ready to move back home with my Mom--I love her of course, and frankly, would love to live back in my hometown, but I can't go home to her and leave my Beloved.

I guess I just feel everything is futile today, and I am two inches away from bawling my eyes out, and I hate feeling like that.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Great News!

My landlord finally sent someone round to fix the broken glass window that I patched up with tape in July!

Now, if she'll send someone to fix my busted fridge and freezer before I starve to death...

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Monday, Tuesday, Chemoday...

Today was my fourth go-round with chemo. It was really painful today, and I was sick three times. Afterwards, we ran a couple of errands, and then I came home and went to bed.

But I'm up for the season premiere of Law & Order.

And tomorrow my Mom goes back home, and my heart is breaking.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

I Feel a Little Silly Today

No reason especially. Just maybe it's the irrepressible feeling that GOOD THINGS MUST HAPPEN THIS YEAR, because short of my dying in a freak meteor collision, it can't possibly get much worse. Of course, I realize by typing that I have damned myself. But hey, if a meteor hit me, at least it would be fast.

Happy New Year, my friends.