St. Pete

Last night, I was missing Grampie pretty bad--crying even. It occurred to me that yesterday was a week since his funeral. It seems crazy to think that he's already been gone 11 days. I know that, blessed, sainted man he is, he's in heaven, which he believed in (though, he was afraid that he would go to hell--why he would think he'd go to hell is beyond me), and I know that he's at peace and happy. But I miss him.

You see, he gave me the world. When I was 15 he took me with him to Canada, since my G'ma had no interest in traveling. And when I was 16 he took me to Ireland, and we toured the country, and ended up meeting some of his father's family. He had always wanted to go to Ireland. And, as a matter of fact, he had wanted to go back, in the late 1990's, but by then my G'ma was too frail and he felt like he couldn't leave her in the house alone. So he never did go back, and I know that it was a sadness for him, because he felt a kinship with the land of 1000 shades of green.

But he gave me more than these trips. He gave me laughter, and humor, and interest in social justice, and he helped us all through our lives, giving a little money here or there when I needed it--for instance, he gave me $3000 towards the downpayment of my Nissan truck in 1997, when the crap 1984 Pontiac Sunbird that I had been driving finally gave up the ghost. He was kind and thoughtful and loving. In many ways, he was more like a father (even long distance living in Maryland) than some paternal unit of mine I could mention.

I'm glad he's not on all those tubes anymore. I'm glad he's with Jesus, whom he loved, and his brothers and his sister and everyone who mattered to him who died before he did. But I am sorry for myself, and sorry for this world, because it has lost someone precious.

P.S. If one more person says to me, "He was 90 and he had a good run," I'm going to deck him. This is what the b/f said to me, and I'd still like to kick him in the ass. So he was 90! Does that cavalier attitude lessen the loss I feel? Um, the correct answer, Bonehead Boyfriend, is no.