Somebody Shoot Me

So, I've been going to work every since the semester ended, doing my advisory work--answering student e-mails about registration and what-not, holding office hours, meeting with students, because I am under the assumption that I am getting paid.

When I took over as assistant advisor, I was told I would get paid for fall, spring, and summer. But, I sent an e-mail to the head of the department several weeks ago to confirm this, when the person I directly report to made a funny noise when I brought up summer employment to her. (Even though she was the one who told me I would get adjunct pay for summer.) I didn't sign up for summer teaching because I was told I was getting paid for summer. Hence, la la la, I'm thinking I'm getting paid.

Well, I went to the office manager of our department and checked to make sure that I would be getting paid. She looked at her papers and said, "You're not on the summer budget."

Son of a bitch.

I go into the Vice-Chair's office and say what the hell is this? If I'm not getting paid for the summer what am I supposed to do about health care? Why have I been coming to work? I sure as hell wasn't planning on volunteering for the summer. And I sure as hell would have signed up for summer teaching.

I'm so pissed I can't even tell you. And I'm really pissed at the person I have been directly reporting to, because she's the one who promised me summer money and she was the one who should have made sure to put me in the budget. I'm livid really. Because now I have no money for the summer, and nobody at that fucking school gives a goddamn about it.

Update

This week I am going to a big cancer hospital back home for testing and a second opinion. Anyway, I like to spend my birthday with my Mom, and Friday is my birthday.

Actually, I don't really even care about the second opinion. In fact, I'd rather not do it, because I just want to quit. Period. No more. And I can't afford it. But Mom and C both want me to do it, so ok, I'm going for it.

But before I leave on Tuesday (I think), I have another meeting with the head of the department tomorrow, and hopefully this one will be more clear as to whether a job is really going to manifest for me, or whether I should just go home for good. I don't know why they wouldn't want to give me a job--I'm good at advising; I like it, and the students like me. So hopefully I will have some good news tomorrow. Because I'm not loving this flux I'm in. I'm just not a fluxy person.

Other than that, things are quiet. Hope you all are doing well.