So, with the one exception that I fell down the stairs (but fortunately not when I was making my bridal entrance), the wedding was great. Good friends, good food (not that I tasted it), and a great venue made everything perfect. I could have wished that some of my best friends would have been able to come, but the ones who did come were awesome.
Everything was awesome actually. Including the wedding night--which was itself a total surprise, because you'd think we'd been there, done that. But Husband had a few tricks up his sleeve, and it was really, really nice. I was impressed... but that's all you're going to hear, because I don't want to make you blush.
Love to all,
M
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A Litle Calmer
I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. I was really worked up, mostly because I was really tired and it just doesn't seem like the wedding will work out like I hoped. I guess in 10 days we'll see.
Fiance and I picked up our wedding rings today. They are lovely--and not traditional at all. (We're trying hard not to buy into wedding "traditions," since we know that's all BS devised by a greedy, grasping wedding industry.)
I guess I don't have much to say tonight.
Hope all are well.
Fiance and I picked up our wedding rings today. They are lovely--and not traditional at all. (We're trying hard not to buy into wedding "traditions," since we know that's all BS devised by a greedy, grasping wedding industry.)
I guess I don't have much to say tonight.
Hope all are well.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I'll Be So Glad When This Damn Wedding Is Over
WARNING: THIS IS A BITCHY RANT, NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.
I realize weddings are stressful, and no bride REALLY enjoys all the accompanying bullshit. But let me tell you about how bad it's been, and then you tell me whether or not I should just pack it in and swallow a bottle of bleach:
1. We called the original place I wanted to have the wedding 40 times. This is no lie. And they never called back. I also e-mailed them and snail mailed. They also don't answer their door when someone knocks. Nothing.
2. I hate the wedding dress. It took me forever to find it, and when I did it looked nice on the website. It cost $350, final sale, no returns. It looks like shit. It's cheap and see-through. And not in a good way.
3. We called and called and called musicians, hoping to get some response. Apparently, the economy isn't hurting the musician trade, because only one called back. The one who called back is awesome--plays the EXACT music that Fiance and I love--but wanted $8000 plus travel/ hotel expenses. Um...no... So, not sure if we have music or not.
4. The second-choice place we got to have the wedding and reception BURNED DOWN. The owners were completely unwilling to help us find another place, and they didn't re-imburse me for invitations (so I sent out invitations with the wrong information), and they were almost not going to give us back our deposit. Also, they were the caterers too, so we suddenly had to find a new venue AND new caterers.
5. Almost NONE of our friends are coming to this wedding, with a couple of exceptions, and those people we're really grateful for, so don't get me wrong. But as for the rest of them... Most of our so-called friends haven't even responded to e-mails and calls--forget mailing back the GD response cards. I really expected better. "Assholes" is the word that comes to mind to describe these people--including 2 best friends, one whom I've known since 1989, and another since 1993. Oh, and the one I've known since 1993? She was going to be the minister, and I even offered to PAY HER AIRFARE AND HOTEL. And now 4 days ago, "Oh, sorry, can't come, can't afford it." Well, FUCK YOU.
6. The photographer quoted Mom as $500 and me as $750. When asked to explain the difference, he said, "I don't like to do weddings." Great. Not sure if we have a photographer at this point.
7. After I told my father why his wife is not invited to the wedding, he said he doesn't understand why I'm "closing the door" when I should be "leaving the door open" to her. This is the same woman who abused me and my sister since we were children. This is the same woman who has not allowed me at their house since 2006. This is the same woman who misbehaved so badly at my sister's wedding that we were all humiliated. And he's giving me etiquette tips about how I should have invited both of them? Excuse me?
8. The baker has no recollection of us making an order. He also accused us of stealing his cake photo album. WTF? I brought the picture of the cake I wanted WITH ME. I don't know what he's talking about.
9. The florist says she's not sure she can do anything with a budget of $500. Nice.
10. I lost the stone out of my engagement ring, and obviously haven't been wearing it since last October or November. Fiance was very unhappy about this. But then, when you buy a cheap-ass ring, what do you expect?
11. Can't find any wine we like that we can afford. I've tried 16 different bottles of red and white wines just trying to find something that doesn't suck. AND I DON'T F-ING DRINK. And when I asked my asshole father who does know something about wine if he could suggest any, and he was all "you should try several kinds and see what you like." No shit. Now, he's told me that he'll supply the wine for the wedding. Since there will only be 25 people there, I figure he'll probably only buy like 8-10 bottles of wine. This is his only contribution to the wedding. He gave my sister $7000. (Not that I begrudge her a penny. But if he wonders about why we have a bad relationship, he only has to think about how selfish and shitty he is. Not that he would, because he thinks he's a perfect father. Asshole.)
12. We finally found a new place for the wedding and the reception. However, the owner fancies himself a gourmet, and only wanted to do sit-down dinners, all of which included MEAT as the entree. Considering many of my friends (not that they're coming, assholes) and my family are vegetarians, this is a problem. So I finally lobbied for him just to do hors d'ouvres (which is what I wanted in the first place), and then he said that the things I liked aren't things he likes to make, so not sure what we're eating.
13. Fiance has been no help whatsoever re: anything wedding related. I've picked everything because he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't care about ANYTHING and hasn't lifted a finger. And he was the one who wanted the damn wedding in the first place.
I'll tell you what, I've tried to really be calm about this whole thing, even though everything has sucked, but I'm so damn sick of it. The worst part is that people I really counted on to come to this wedding--people I've been there for and supported and loved--have blown me off. How is that right?
I realize weddings are stressful, and no bride REALLY enjoys all the accompanying bullshit. But let me tell you about how bad it's been, and then you tell me whether or not I should just pack it in and swallow a bottle of bleach:
1. We called the original place I wanted to have the wedding 40 times. This is no lie. And they never called back. I also e-mailed them and snail mailed. They also don't answer their door when someone knocks. Nothing.
2. I hate the wedding dress. It took me forever to find it, and when I did it looked nice on the website. It cost $350, final sale, no returns. It looks like shit. It's cheap and see-through. And not in a good way.
3. We called and called and called musicians, hoping to get some response. Apparently, the economy isn't hurting the musician trade, because only one called back. The one who called back is awesome--plays the EXACT music that Fiance and I love--but wanted $8000 plus travel/ hotel expenses. Um...no... So, not sure if we have music or not.
4. The second-choice place we got to have the wedding and reception BURNED DOWN. The owners were completely unwilling to help us find another place, and they didn't re-imburse me for invitations (so I sent out invitations with the wrong information), and they were almost not going to give us back our deposit. Also, they were the caterers too, so we suddenly had to find a new venue AND new caterers.
5. Almost NONE of our friends are coming to this wedding, with a couple of exceptions, and those people we're really grateful for, so don't get me wrong. But as for the rest of them... Most of our so-called friends haven't even responded to e-mails and calls--forget mailing back the GD response cards. I really expected better. "Assholes" is the word that comes to mind to describe these people--including 2 best friends, one whom I've known since 1989, and another since 1993. Oh, and the one I've known since 1993? She was going to be the minister, and I even offered to PAY HER AIRFARE AND HOTEL. And now 4 days ago, "Oh, sorry, can't come, can't afford it." Well, FUCK YOU.
6. The photographer quoted Mom as $500 and me as $750. When asked to explain the difference, he said, "I don't like to do weddings." Great. Not sure if we have a photographer at this point.
7. After I told my father why his wife is not invited to the wedding, he said he doesn't understand why I'm "closing the door" when I should be "leaving the door open" to her. This is the same woman who abused me and my sister since we were children. This is the same woman who has not allowed me at their house since 2006. This is the same woman who misbehaved so badly at my sister's wedding that we were all humiliated. And he's giving me etiquette tips about how I should have invited both of them? Excuse me?
8. The baker has no recollection of us making an order. He also accused us of stealing his cake photo album. WTF? I brought the picture of the cake I wanted WITH ME. I don't know what he's talking about.
9. The florist says she's not sure she can do anything with a budget of $500. Nice.
10. I lost the stone out of my engagement ring, and obviously haven't been wearing it since last October or November. Fiance was very unhappy about this. But then, when you buy a cheap-ass ring, what do you expect?
11. Can't find any wine we like that we can afford. I've tried 16 different bottles of red and white wines just trying to find something that doesn't suck. AND I DON'T F-ING DRINK. And when I asked my asshole father who does know something about wine if he could suggest any, and he was all "you should try several kinds and see what you like." No shit. Now, he's told me that he'll supply the wine for the wedding. Since there will only be 25 people there, I figure he'll probably only buy like 8-10 bottles of wine. This is his only contribution to the wedding. He gave my sister $7000. (Not that I begrudge her a penny. But if he wonders about why we have a bad relationship, he only has to think about how selfish and shitty he is. Not that he would, because he thinks he's a perfect father. Asshole.)
12. We finally found a new place for the wedding and the reception. However, the owner fancies himself a gourmet, and only wanted to do sit-down dinners, all of which included MEAT as the entree. Considering many of my friends (not that they're coming, assholes) and my family are vegetarians, this is a problem. So I finally lobbied for him just to do hors d'ouvres (which is what I wanted in the first place), and then he said that the things I liked aren't things he likes to make, so not sure what we're eating.
13. Fiance has been no help whatsoever re: anything wedding related. I've picked everything because he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't care about ANYTHING and hasn't lifted a finger. And he was the one who wanted the damn wedding in the first place.
I'll tell you what, I've tried to really be calm about this whole thing, even though everything has sucked, but I'm so damn sick of it. The worst part is that people I really counted on to come to this wedding--people I've been there for and supported and loved--have blown me off. How is that right?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
A Boring Day at Work
So far, three people who had appointments with me today haven't shown up. I wouldn't mind this so much if I had something to really do, but right now, I don't. I could possibly write a poem, but I don't know what on. Not feeling very poemy. Feeling quite hungry though.
And I would have gotten a pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese at the bagel place in the student center, but they were "out." How they could be out at 7:50, when they only open at 7:30 is beyond me. They were "out" yesterday too. Bastards.
Well, maybe I'll go over to the student center and try the bagel place again... I realllly want a bagel.
And I would have gotten a pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese at the bagel place in the student center, but they were "out." How they could be out at 7:50, when they only open at 7:30 is beyond me. They were "out" yesterday too. Bastards.
Well, maybe I'll go over to the student center and try the bagel place again... I realllly want a bagel.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
I Hate Breakups... Even When They're Not Happening to Me
My friends K & C finally called it quits today. I just hurt for both of them... I think they've been together 12 years, and it sucks, and I'm really sad. Because I was K's friend first, but I'm C's friend too... and I don't know what to say to either of them, except I'm sorry.
And I know this is weird... but it makes me feel scared too. Like, if people like them could break up, people I thought were together for the long haul, what chance do the rest of us have?
And I know this is weird... but it makes me feel scared too. Like, if people like them could break up, people I thought were together for the long haul, what chance do the rest of us have?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Where Have I Been?
It seems the rest of the summer got away from me. Mostly I've just been working every day, and while it seemed ok when I was doing it part-time, full-time has its disadvantages... mostly long blocks of time where not much happens. Part of this is because it's after registration, and students won't be coming in again till the end of October when registration starts up.
Part of it has to do, probably, with the fact I've never had a 40 hour a week job, and I'm not used to being at work and not having anything to do. When I was teaching, I came in to teach, did my office hours (including my part-time advising hours), and went home... to do other things, like laundry (which I'm sorely behind on) or cleaning the house or grocery shopping. Now when I get home, the last thing I want to do is those chores. (Granted, I never want to do laundry since I have to go out to do it... but hopefully I'll find a new place to live soon, and it WILL have a washer and dryer, or I'm not moving in.)
Fiance and I are fine. He's actually coming up today to stay until Friday morning. There's a lecture he wants to go to tomorrow night, and he doesn't have to work, so he figured he'd come in for a quick visit. As it happens, I'm going down his way for a conference on Friday/ Saturday, and the plan was that we'd spend Saturday night and Sunday together... but he forgot to request those days off. So I'll be coming back home.
Which is just as well, so I can take care of His Magesty, whom I don't really like to leave alone, anyway. I know how he hates not being able to go outside. And I don't feel comfortable leaving the back window open--not because I worry that anyone would break in (though, in a large city, that's ALWAYS a possibility), but mainly because I don't want to come home to find that there are dead--or living!--chipmunks running around. I'm about done with the chipmunk crap, frankly.
I will say, the one good thing about this job is that when I have large blocks of unoccupied time, I fill it with writing poems, and that makes me ever so much happier a person.
Hoping everyone is well.
Part of it has to do, probably, with the fact I've never had a 40 hour a week job, and I'm not used to being at work and not having anything to do. When I was teaching, I came in to teach, did my office hours (including my part-time advising hours), and went home... to do other things, like laundry (which I'm sorely behind on) or cleaning the house or grocery shopping. Now when I get home, the last thing I want to do is those chores. (Granted, I never want to do laundry since I have to go out to do it... but hopefully I'll find a new place to live soon, and it WILL have a washer and dryer, or I'm not moving in.)
Fiance and I are fine. He's actually coming up today to stay until Friday morning. There's a lecture he wants to go to tomorrow night, and he doesn't have to work, so he figured he'd come in for a quick visit. As it happens, I'm going down his way for a conference on Friday/ Saturday, and the plan was that we'd spend Saturday night and Sunday together... but he forgot to request those days off. So I'll be coming back home.
Which is just as well, so I can take care of His Magesty, whom I don't really like to leave alone, anyway. I know how he hates not being able to go outside. And I don't feel comfortable leaving the back window open--not because I worry that anyone would break in (though, in a large city, that's ALWAYS a possibility), but mainly because I don't want to come home to find that there are dead--or living!--chipmunks running around. I'm about done with the chipmunk crap, frankly.
I will say, the one good thing about this job is that when I have large blocks of unoccupied time, I fill it with writing poems, and that makes me ever so much happier a person.
Hoping everyone is well.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Job Things
After a lot of chaos, I finally got the permanent advisor job. Today was my third day at work. While I have been doing advising for a year now, I wasn't prepared for the 40-hour-a-week grind, and my butt gets sore from sitting all day, and pretty much from 2-4:30 I'm sooooo bored. But I'll get used to it, and like it too, I hope.
I figure, I'm committed to staying at this school at least as long as it takes my fiance to go through graduate school. There is a dual Master's in Public Policy/ Urban Planning program that would be fantastic if he could get into. His undergraduate grades are uneven at best. They have been better since he's been back to school, and perhaps the Admissions Committee will take that into consideration. But this is a tough school to get into, and they expect brilliance. I love my honey, but I think he's burned too many brain cells over the years to be considered brilliant. But perhaps he tests well. Maybe he'll do really well on the GRE. I hope he considers taking a Kaplan course on the GRE so that he'll do really well on it.
Oh, yikes I'm suddenly exhausted. I'll write more later.
I figure, I'm committed to staying at this school at least as long as it takes my fiance to go through graduate school. There is a dual Master's in Public Policy/ Urban Planning program that would be fantastic if he could get into. His undergraduate grades are uneven at best. They have been better since he's been back to school, and perhaps the Admissions Committee will take that into consideration. But this is a tough school to get into, and they expect brilliance. I love my honey, but I think he's burned too many brain cells over the years to be considered brilliant. But perhaps he tests well. Maybe he'll do really well on the GRE. I hope he considers taking a Kaplan course on the GRE so that he'll do really well on it.
Oh, yikes I'm suddenly exhausted. I'll write more later.
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